i’ve been told that he is a father that gives all good things. i’ve read that when i ask for bread he will never hand me a rock. it is said the he protects and gives and provides.
thousands of years of testimonies and 27 years of personal life point to his faithfulness. not a single misstep. not one mistake. no missed opportunities.
but in the depths of this calloused heart i wonder. when he says no, or even not yet, i wonder.
could this be the time? his record is impeccable in the past, yes, but might this be a mistake? perhaps his steadfast love is wavering.
in the darkest moments i wonder if perhaps he is stingy.
in the light of truth the question is inconceivable. he is the creator of life. the lavisher of grace. the giver of great blessing. he is these things and so much more. so many things, but not stingy. not ever stingy.
and so i sing and i confess and i plead: “prone to wander, lord, i feel it. prone to leave this god i love. take my heart, lord, take and seal it. seal it for thy courts above.”
